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3月31日 a yearA year had gone ..
was special enough . last year in the same day . it was my birthday time . it was around 4:00 after noon when i first met a nice girl .. it wasnt planned at all that something will grow up .. but then after only four months i was deeeeply sad for she had to go for a year to continue her studies abroad ....
when i first met her thre were four things . her mom, he b/f photo, her voice, her chocolates....
nd then i had expereinced with her love .maybe deeply and realy and spiritualy enough for the first time in my life ....
i thought i had finaly found the one .. but then everything turned upside down after four months ,. few days after her departure............
time passed. it tooook me sooo long to recover ... we got disconected forever, and non of us could hear about the other or know his / her news ..
today, one year from that day ,, i still can hear the birds singing outside in trees .. i know that writting about birds songs has never beeen up to reality at all, but i still need to downwrite my presence and existanalizim expereince,, there are birds that are still singing just like that after noon one year ago ..
who knows what did i learn from that hard experience, i my self still cant beleive that hurting man can ever be a good way of teaching .. i dont even know who had invented this stupid concept that what doesnt break us make us stronger,,, i am not sure about it yet.
maybe in the deeepest point of my unconcious there has been a new rule that was engraved, maybe, i am not sure,,, but days had passed and nothing is left from the pleasure and the sincerity that i had expereinced once... sometimes i look at it from a different angle and ask myself, why does a man hurt himself in his trip to experience real love. ? and i find he answer so promptly, becuse he does not know ..
this is a hard fact .. but it is a fact.. we dont know .. we dont know ...
for a man like me who looks so gressive and ambitious in real life it is so hard even for me to beleive that one experience can have such a strong impact on my life... but this the truth ..
so the past year since my last birthday time was two parts, a very brighty one and a very dark one . ...
and it will always remain like this ... 2005 was the year of life . . it was the year of love and the year of the same hurting nd betraying love.
but you know what , one cant just give up all his beliefs if got betrayed .. so the most spent time in the past year was about knowing about my beliefs.
and i amanged to define them again and position them very clearly nd strongly...
I beleive in god
I beleive in love
I beleive in my family
I beleive in friendship
I beleive in my NO EGO
I beleive that i have to devote my life for the others
on a daily basis i go into debtes with ppl .. close ones and not so close ones .. and i know very well that indeed nothing worth fighting for ..
nothing at all
people fight to prove that they are right .. and my vital concern tody and forever is that " cant we stop fighting by starting questining if we are realy right ?"
if only we can listen and repsect , if only we can never think in our deeps tht we are listning coz we have good listening skills, or because even though we know the talker is NOT right we are still patient and professional or even human enough to listen to him or her .if only we can sop and eliminate this deeep thinking . we can be more real ..
i have met mny people on my life time, from musicians to business managers, from schools heads to painters, from basetball players to bitches .. all of them think they are right ,,, they try to attract the light...
my past year was of two parts and bright one and a dark one and i can tell you that no one had lasted and dominated ..
if only we can cope with this thought .. if only we can stop fighting for another inch of light ... if only we can stop fighting for proving our existance ... if only we can stop fighting for occupying another share of voice.. if only we can stop fighting for proving
then we can enjoy another cinetmeter of peace.... until the eternal trip ship has arrived ...
i had seen tears in eyes ... nothing can justify a sheded tear ... nothing ...
happy birthdy to me .. with a sincere big smile :)
3月30日 زمنية أكثر منك جغرافيةلا تفرحي بنجمتاك كثيراً يا صديقتي
فإن الصبح آت
لامحال آت
كوني زمنية أكثر منك جغرافية
آه لو تفهمين
لكنك يا حلوتي لا لن تفهمي
الاقصاء الانسانيإن استعباد الآلة و الكمبيوتر أو المقعد الدراسي غير مبرر . إن أمكنتنا الحقيقية كبشر متنوعة و تجاربنا مختلفة . لا يمكن أن تكون مكررة بشكل يومي نمطي و إلا فإنها ستقود في النهاية إلى إقصائنا إنسانياً ..إقصائنا بعيداً عن كل شيء و قبل كل شيء عن أنفسنا . لا وقت لديك ؟وطالما أن هناك وقت يتسع لفكرة فهذا يعني أن لدينا وقت يمكن استثماره . 3月29日 نعتذر من اللهنعتذر من الله على أننا قد ضيعنا الأمانة
أبانا الذي في السموات
ربنا الكائن فينا
اغفر لنا فإننا قد نسينا
إنسانيتنا
ومن نكون
وكيف كان يجب أن نكون
سؤال سخيف و جواب مفحمسمعت جورج قرداحي المذيع الشهير لبرنامج من سيربح المليون يسأل ضيفه
" أنت من السعودية "
فأجابه بكل ثقالة :
" نعم و الحمد لله "
لك يأبرني الله على السسسسسسسسسسقاللللة .
أيه شو هالفم
شو هالفصاحة
شو هالسرعة البهيمة !
روعة . ما في أحلى من هيك ؟؟؟
لأ عنجد سؤال ضروري .. ما في أحلى من هيك ؟
أكيد ما في ....
أكيد لأنو هالجمال اسم الله يعني لا يمكن أن يتكرر .
قمة اليأس العربيةسيدي الرئيس - تحيةطيبة و بعد أما بعد . فقد رأيت أن من واجبي كمواطن شريف أن أقول لكم رأيي فيما يجري من حولي .أرجو أن ينال رأيي إعجابكم و أصبح من المحظيين عند جنابكم . أما وقد تغيرت الأزمان و انقلبت الحقائق و صار اجار عدواً و العدو جار فإنني قد رأيت أن أكتب لكم رسالةً مطولةً تشرح ما يختلج نفسي من مشاعر و ما يدور في رأسي من أفكار . أرجو أن تقرؤا بتمعن ما كتبت و أن ترأفوا بحالي إن أخطت . أما إن أصبت فإنني أرجو أن تولوني أسفل اليأس لا أعلاه
اللهم إني قد بلغت اللهم فاشهد
ودمتم ذخراً 3月28日 yes yes yes! there is no watter to wash the face !صديقتي تقول :
هلولللوويا سمحوا باستيراد مواد التجمل ...
وسألت ولكن انتظري . . . هناك من ليس لديهم مياه بعد ليغسلوا بها وجوههم عند الصباح في مدنتنا الجميله . أليس كذلك يا رشا .؟ ذكريني إن أخطأت .... 3月27日 shouting loud , bu then my grand ma !!!!ya rabi!
tht other day i made a very cute girl upset from me ..
and u know what, even though it was my right , i felt and i still feel that i am sad ....
effffff thats so bad .. and soo hardddd
i mean i know I m a hard combination to be dealt with easily..
logical enough, wity enough yet sensitive enough and like hack i beleive in simple things in life .. just so simple ..
i mean some times i feeel so taken by the skin of a red apple .. so arroused and emotionaly driftted away ..
and sometimes when i look at the same apple i feel that i am soooo lucky tht i go the chance to even see it but i stop and never bite it coz i think of those who re diing of starvation... yes starivvvving .. do u understand this horrible fact.. some people die becuse they dont have anything to eat for several days .. and look at us . how many of us are wasting money on food, going luxary restaurants to meet freinds nd have delllecious food..
yes we belong to the elite when we want , but we do not have the blessing to belong to the real mass even if we want ..
do i have to cry ..
do i have to shout loud ...
appologize for my loud voice if it hurted ur ears my grand ma . me and the moneyaehhh
it has always been like this, no sense of money.. and since i was at the economics school at damscus unversity my very close freinds used to realize this racha chams el dien, kheder khamra, ali omran, hani hajeb, nada karami ..
i was a lasosy guy with this issue and i bet u can tell that i was very good idiot in accounting .. gosh the word accounting i sjust still ring so ugllllly
money money money,
why do ppl collect money ? to have more power, to go places, to manupulate politics, to attract other genders ( much appropriate to say sexs in this context ), or to make peaceful living for their families..
well non of the above make sense ..
taeb why ppl dont make money?
coz they are loosers, sophy, irrisponsible, lust driven,, or whtever..
that make a sense though it is illogical and insane ....
so question is again about keeping it balnced, generate money coz u r not a looser and then spend it .. no on ur family only but on humanity ...
well u know i am not so islamic, but in a way or another i like the islamic system with regard to finncial, monetary and economy.. not bad ha! for those who know, yet not applicable in our centuriesss.
look at kingdom of saudi arabia, ohh gosh their people dont know the oil revenues .. they distribute wealth on the few selectives.. and the sme story is replicable easily pan arabs' ..
countries that happned to be called islamic countries, are realy not dopting islamic economies.. so I wonder how come some islamics inisit on the presence of " political islam" in a time where they dont pply annnny of islamic basics.!?
bck to me .. i got to learn one day how to save some money .. but u know hwat .. its cool to keep striving .. it is not a matter of lacking smartness to make money ... it is about being careless about it ..
the funies thing about me is that i turn to be an agressive money oriented person when i negotiate business with greedy people .. i feel i want to snacth the money from their heads !!!!! and then spend them on realy needy people ..
i just wish that one day i wont be in need for medicine and die without having its price .. even though it is going to be fun isnt it ?
Syria - Magazine and comming brandsthe oher dy there was an idea that was born !
u know, syrian market will soon ope the doors to international appareal and comatics brands ..
there will be many entries
so i was just thinking , where are they going to advertise, nd the gap s clear enough,
so why dont we just create a trends nd fashion magazine with a destinctively USP.
and igot the spirit and then made the simple homework of questining few freinds who are happening to work with importers sides if they could be interested in such publication in principle . answers were . YES definetly.
problem again is that i am not millionaire .. i pay what i earn on a daily basis ..
so the only time i feel a little bit depressed of not having some money in my pocket is when I find that some cool and feassible ideas can not render real becuse i just need to spend on them myself and no one else.
hey Donald Trump, why didnt employee someone to surfe the net and read bilal's blogs.
too bad , u lost another business opportunity .... you got to practice some HR.
just one movie !i just keep calculating it nd with maths it always seems to be working ..
why cant arabs create such a realy big movie !
why dont we just start workign on establishing a movie production company with some hundreds of millions of USD and then kick off.
do we lack talent!
no
do we lack money ?
no
then we dont we just coordinate it professionaly enough?
as ususl it's a matter of coordintation ...
yalla cross your fingers for ARABS ! 3月26日 looking from the hidden angleohhh people
why get busy in thinking and creating outside defenses rather than thinking and creating "no harms"
how much irrational are we becoming ... ?
rather than spending the power and resources on thinking of how can we protect ourselves we should invest in learning how to avoid creating harms to others...
no matter what tools we can secure we will never be able to protect ourselves .. no matter how many weapons, how much eduction, how many personal guards, or how much logic we hold .. nothing will make sure we wont get hurt .. a tiny germ might change the rules of the game all of a sudden. a not faithful lover can step us so hardly in the back while we are facing the harsh life, a business partner might disappoint us just for few hundred dollars, a political allay can set the war tomorow morning ..
we cn do nothing about protecing ourselves forever, the only thing we can do is to be in pece, to keep our ethics up and to be straight and courage enough ..
ohh people , should we invest then more in buidling walls or in seeding trees... ?
in buying weapons or in teaching our children how much war is awful and a shame ?
in looking for a faithful lover or in being a faithful lover so tht even when betrayed we know how to smile again?
in collecting money or in spending money so that no one can envey us or steal us ?
in buidling egos or in selfdenials so tha there is no ego to be hurted .. ?
i wish i can be up to my words ,, but words are always much simpler than actions
forgive me my friends
forgive me my lord ... ! i know u hate those who say but not do .. so help me to do ..... go to the coreand yes
a man can pass this temporary life with the least hurt by being noble ... quittingits good to quit a too busy era!its bad enough that we live an era where everyone is busy ..
its bad enough
bead enough isnt enough
can we do somethng about it ?
we got to be NO busy
we got to explore our real humanity before we go to soile
we got to have enough time for smiling , for loving and for contributing
we got to be less busy .. listen and care ....
can we ? 3月25日 بطونلماذا تحبين ابنك أكثر مني يا سيدتي ...
ألا ينبغي لك أن تحبي الحق أينما كان و في أي صورة تكون . . . . 3月20日 dumbs all over the placeits just a question !!!!! why there are so much idiots and dumbs on this land !!!!??
is it the only one way to iritate smart people for being smart ....... or maybe is it the oly way for smart people to feel ohh gosh thanks i wasnt one of these stupid people all over the place ...
i see dumb people walking all around .. and i still do not want to be a hitler and backe them .. but i still cant be jesus and pray for them
and isnce i am BILAL then the only thing i can do is to shoout loud sayinnnnng ..
goooooooooooo tooo helllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll and teach yourself some basic skillllls and the logic basessssssssssssssssssssss ...
efffff 3月19日 you must worship me - I am Bilal ZaiterI am not always sure
i wont be always right
I am not a GOD, very simple ha !!!
so if u expect me to be always sure, and always right you must worship me ..
note: forgive me for any mistakes i commited |
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